


Time Shivers

by rumpelsnorcack



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 15:37:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2657336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rumpelsnorcack/pseuds/rumpelsnorcack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For some reason, the Doctor is reluctant to stop time collapsing.  He knows he has to find River and fix the damage she caused by blowing apart a fixed point in time, but he's found a reason not to.  Meanwhile, Amy and Rory try to figure out what's going on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Shivers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WildAndFreeHearts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildAndFreeHearts/gifts).



> Slight AU for The Wedding of River Song. Basically, the idea was to see what would happen if the Doctor truly believed he had to die in order to stop time collapsing, and what if he found something in that altered timeline that he really didn't want to give up?

‘Where’s the Roman?’ 

 

The Doctor looked around in eager confusion.  He’d expected Rory to be with Amy, following her around like he always did.  He was the single most loyal human the Doctor had ever picked up and that was saying something, considering some of the people he’d travelled with.

 

‘You mean Rory.  My husband Rory, yeah?’  Amy rushed to her desk and pulled out a picture she’d drawn of Rory.  The Doctor felt a lump forming in his throat.  The picture was – there was no other word for it – beautiful.  The man she’d drawn was quite literally perfect. ‘That’s him, isn’t it? I love him very much, don’t I?’

 

‘Apparently,’ but the Doctor didn’t really mean the dismissive tone.  He had expected _Rory_ , the slightly bumbly, often awkward, not-quite-handsome man he’d been travelling with for the last several months.  He stared at the picture Amy had drawn in shock.  Yes, it was an idealised Rory, but he could trace the features he knew so well.  He could see the Rory he knew in the picture, but tempered, refined.  The Rory in the picture looked (the Doctor admitted to himself) hot.  Unlike the real Rory, this picture called to him for some reason he couldn’t quite understand.

 

‘Doctor?’

 

‘Hmm?’ The Doctor hummed the answer, not really hearing Amy as he stared in fascination at the pencilled figure.  ‘Oh.  Right.’ 

 

He shook himself out of it and forced himself to focus on Amy. 

 

‘It’s not your fault.  Time’s gone wrong.’  He moved to comfort her, reassure her that things were ok and that _this_ time it hadn’t been a crack in her wall that caused these issues.

 

‘Why does it matter?  Can’t we just stay like this?’  Her tone was wistful.  Clearly she enjoyed the life she was living now, despite the lack of hot-Rory. 

 

_No, don’t think of him_ , The Doctor warned himself.  _And definitely don’t agree that this world is fine_. 

 

He needed to get things back to rights as soon as he could.

 

‘Time isn’t just frozen.  It’s disintegrating.  It will spread and spread and all reality will simply … fall apart.’

 

A man appeared at the door.  One the Doctor recognised immediately, but one who Amy was treating with casual indifference.  Worse, one who was treating _Amy_ with casual indifference right back.

 

‘Ma’am we’re about to arrive.’

 

‘Captain Williams.  Best of the best.’  _Best of the best alright_ , thought The Doctor, stunned.  This Captain Williams was assured and confident.  He held himself taller, radiated competence and assurance.   

 

‘Hello,’ said the Doctor, a grin on his face.  He expected Rory to recognise him as Amy had, but he didn’t.  While Rory had grown up near the crack in Leadworth, he had never lived _with_ it in the way Amy had; so (with a heavy heart), the Doctor surmised that he wasn’t as easily able to shake off the modified memories of this world.

 

‘Hello, sir.  Pleased to meet you.’  There was a flick of an eye, an appreciative gleam as Rory looked at The Doctor.  It stirred something in the pit of his stomach.

 

As the man disappeared back out the door, the Doctor scrutinised the picture again.  He could definitely see the resemblance now.  It was a perfectly idealised version of the Rory he knew.  His throat got tighter as he compared the two.  He pushed the idea away and turned to Amy, stating as sincerely as he could, ‘Amy.  You’ll find your Rory; you always do.  But you really have to look.’

 

‘I am looking.’  There was a hint of her old defiance.  She did not appreciate the suggestion that she was somehow not doing enough to find her husband.  He laughed, amused at his reaction to Rory and at her desperation to believe she’d know him if she saw him.  He looked over at the door again.

 

‘Oh, my Amelia Pond.’

 

His attempt at levity didn’t quite reach his eyes and Amy looked at him like he was mental.  Perhaps he was overdoing the pushing her towards Rory.  He coughed and moved away, forcing himself to stop glancing at the door through which ‘Captain Williams’ had disappeared.  Amy squinted up at him.

 

‘Why are you older?  If time isn’t really passing, how can you be aging?’

 

‘Time is still passing for me.  Every explosion has an epicentre.  I’m it.  I’m what’s wrong.’

 

‘What’s wrong with you?’

 

‘I’m still alive.’  But as he said it he felt a deep sadness settling in his stomach, a sadness that had to do with more than just his knowledge of his own impending death.  ‘Captain Williams’ had been … open.  Open in a way Rory never had been.  Rory was obsessed with Amy and had closed himself off sexually to any other human touch, whereas Captain Williams –

 

The Doctor sighed in memory of the way his eyes had lingered on him.  Oh, it was all quite professional, that ‘hello, sir, pleased to meet you.’  But it was there – a hint of interest, a hint of admiration. 

 

The Doctor barely thought of his humans in that way.  They were all too young by several hundred years, though occasionally, one would draw him in for a moment: a fleeting touch of one body reaching out to another.  Captain Jack, obviously.  Rose.  River … he sighed.  There had been brief flashes with Jamie, Tegan, even Sarah Jane.  It was almost inevitable that some of them would draw him in, some of these brilliant humans.  They were, after all, compelling enough in some way to catch his attention long enough to whisk them away.  And now there was ‘Captain Williams’ too.  No, the Doctor insisted to himself.  This was just because the captain was so not-Rory in this one small, yet infinitely important way.  It was the shock of the difference, not any _real_ attraction.  He swallowed carefully, trying not to let his deep sadness at the idea of losing the not-Rory captain overwhelm him.  There was, after all, something hugely important he had to achieve here.  He had to save time.  One look from one boy shouldn’t be allowed to get in the way of that.

 

With a guilty heart, he asked Amy to take him to Captain Williams and his subordinates.  Just because he shouldn’t act on whatever-this-was didn’t mean he couldn’t explore it a bit more.  Plus, this was a perfect opportunity to make sure that it had just been a weird one-off response to the picture and the not-Roryness of the whole situation.  And he did have to ... er, to ... check out the military situation here.  Obviously.

 

Unfortunately, being in the same room with both of them had the opposite effect.  Watching the two of them interacting in such a non-sexualised way made the Doctor’s hearts ache.  It was clear they both deeply respected each other, obviously.  But this was not right.  He hadn’t noticed until now just how attracted the two of them were to each other, how much of their body language had been about the other one.  It was only now that it was lacking that it all came into stark relief. 

 

It all got worse when Captain Williams began to bark orders at his troops.  It was, the Doctor admitted to himself, really quite sexy.  And that, he thought as he desperately tried to push these feelings away, was something he’d never imagined he would think about Rory Williams, nurse, from Leadworth.  He was helpless to resist it seemed, but he could still try to do the right thing.  The right thing in the here and now was obviously to try to set things right between the two of them.  If he could just get Rory and Amy paired up again, perhaps this foolish desire would go away and he could focus again on what he had to do.

 

He shunted Amy off in order to secure Captain Williams alone.  While listening to him explaining the Silence and how they had come to be trapped in the Pyramid, the Doctor was again hit by just how much _more_ this version of Rory was.  It’s not that the Rory he knew was in any way defective, oh no.  Rory was someone The Doctor liked very much; but he was, as he’d discovered earlier, closed off – and closed off in a way that had so far allowed only brief flashes of his potential to shine through.  the Doctor thought of how Rory had been at Demons Run and his throat constricted again.  Then there had been the firm way he had taken command of his troops just moments ago.  Demons Run had not been a fluke it seemed. Certainly there had been signs, but the Doctor had still been taken completely unaware by this confident, controlled Rory who was showing some interest in him.  And in Amy as well, to be fair.  But that was normal.  _This_ was not: this occasional brush of a hand over his, the moments of eye contact.  Again, all professional; all able to be read as innocent – but there was a frisson there – a frisson The Doctor was almost sure wasn’t entirely on his side.  He peered at ‘Captain Williams’ out of the side of his eye and found him smirking back at him, as if he knew the thoughts running through his mind.  Discomfited, the Doctor started babbling.

 

‘You should just ask her out.  She likes you.  She said so.’

 

‘Really, sir.  What did she say?’

 

‘She told me you were a Mr Hottyness and that she would like to go out with you out for texting and scones.’

 

That smirk was back, stronger than before.  This man found him amusing and had an ease of manner which allowed him to tease the Doctor in a way that Rory never would.

 

‘You really haven’t done this before, have you?’

 

Except he had, hadn’t he?  With these two once before.  Back then it had been easy – push the two lovebirds together and voila!  Tea and scones for all!  Metaphorically speaking.  But now … now he was almost reluctant to do it again.  The pull he’d felt in Amy’s office hadn’t been his imagination.  He could feel himself falling ever deeper into this whatever-he-was-feeling.  He couldn’t even think of this man as ‘Captain Williams’ anymore to distance himself from the reality of falling for Rory.  Because this man was also very, _very_ Rory in all the ways that The Doctor had always loved.  He was just dangerously not-Rory in the one way that had protected The Doctor from these feelings before.

 

‘Rory.  What am I to do with you?’

 

‘How … how do you know my name, sir?’  His companion skittered sideways a little and eyed him warily.  The light flirtation of moments ago disappeared into suspicion.

 

‘Oh Rory, I’ve known you for a long time.’ He sighed.  ‘But time has got out of joint and now you don’t know me.’

 

Rory smiled again, but the new distance was back between them.  The smile was entirely professional and impersonal.  The Doctor ached to bridge the divide, fervently wishing he had never disclosed the other world, but it had needed to be said.

 

‘Right, sir.  If you say so.’

 

Perhaps it was better this way.  The Doctor couldn’t do what needed to be done if he found something precious in this reality that he didn’t want to lose.  He was under no illusions that when things were back to rights, that this man would ever look at him again.  For a start, he would inevitably be back to being totally devoted to Amy ... and for a second, well.  The Doctor was scheduled to die.  It had to happen.  A fixed point.  There was no point in pining over the never-to-be; he had to die to save the world.  He had to find River in fact, much as he would prefer to stay here with this man by his side.

 

‘Rory.  Do you mind me calling you Rory?  It feels weird, all this ‘Captain Williams’ nonsense.’

 

The Doctor knew instantly that he’d said the wrong thing.  Rory’s mouth tightened for a moment, but he held his chin up.

 

‘No, sir.  I guess not, sir, if it helps.’

 

Oh yes, it helped.  The Doctor felt he might be slightly more in control if he could just treat Rory as he had always done.  He couldn’t do that if he was talking to ‘Captain Williams’ instead of the Rory he’d always known.  Ignoring the fact that he was blurring the lines between the two in ever more dangerous ways, the Doctor continued.

 

‘Good.  Right.  Well then, Rory.   I need to find someone.  A woman, River Song.  Do you know her?’

 

‘Of course, sir.  She leads this group.  She’s waiting for you downstairs, if you’ll follow me.’

 

Rory led the way while the Doctor tried to recover from the shock.  He had expected this to take more time.  Now that the moment was upon him, he dreaded it.  Obviously, there was the fear that he was going to die – no matter how old he got he’d never really considered actually dying.  But now he had to.  He glanced at Captain Williams’s back.  There was that other lingering regret, too.  What would things have been like if he could just have explored that frisson just a little bit?  What would it hurt?  When the worlds recovered (as they inevitably would when he and River touched) what would it have mattered if the Doctor had indulged this one small curiosity?

 

***

 

Rory was shaken to his core.  No-one here knew his name.  Not his boss, Amelia Pond, or her superior, River Song.  None of his men or the people he’d trained with knew either.  Rory had worked very hard to eliminate everything other than ‘Captain Williams.’  Captain Williams was cool and assured, he knew what to do in a crisis and he was a natural leader.  No-one knew how hard Rory had worked to become that man.  And now here was this Doctor person breezing into his life and claiming to know him.  That was patently absurd.  Rory would remember having met this weird man and as for having been his friend … he shook his head.  It was impossible.  He was so aware of this man that he would _know_ if they’d met before, let alone been friends with him. 

 

He could barely keep himself professional around him.  The desire to reach out and touch him warred with his need to remain in careful control of the situation.  It was time –and more than time – to get out of this unsettling place.  Amelia Pond had left.  Clearly she’d become bored of waiting for them and gone to attend to other business.  Rory swallowed hard.  He’d been counting on her to act as a barrier between himself and the feelings that were starting to overwhelm him when he looked at the Doctor.  He’d had something of a crush on her since he began working for her and he was counting on that crush to dampen this new infatuation.

 

He led the Doctor through the warren of rooms and corridors down towards the inner sanctum where River Song operated.  She was in charge, the one who held all the strings and the one who had (for some unknown reason) decided to tie Madame Kovarian up.  Rory barely knew who Kovarian was, but he still felt an irrational desire to snarl whenever he saw her.  She radiated menace in a way that made his soldiers’ instincts intensely uneasy.  Perhaps it was best, after all, that she was incapacitated.  He’d feel better if she were held in a dungeon somewhere, though.  Surely the holy Roman Emperor, Winston Churchill, would have a nice dungeon tucked away in his palace?  Rory resolved to bring it up with River when they reached her.  It was a security risk having such a malevolent person barely restrained in their control room.  Who knew what information they were inadvertently feeding her as they discussed strategy?

 

He was roused from his thoughts when the Doctor grabbed his arm.  The touch was rough and Rory tensed as he spun to look at the other man.  His face was set and determined.  He looked old – older than he possibly _could_ be.

 

‘Who are you?’ Rory asked, curiosity getting the better of him as the grip on his arm slackened.

 

‘It doesn’t matter who I am.  I don’t think it’s quite time for me to face River.’  The man’s face turned stony as he thought of the woman they were heading towards.  Rory watched, intrigued, as he shook the bad mood off with a jerk of his head and a winning grin that made Rory’s body tense even more.  His hands flew up to his bowtie and he twisted it gently, smoothing it into place as he glanced at Rory.  ‘I want to look at those Silence again.  There’s something wrong with those tanks and I can’t quite put my finger on it.’

 

‘If you’d like, sir.  I’ll wait for you here.’  Rory leaped at the chance to remove himself from this man who was distracting him from his duty and who seemed to see to the heart of him in a way that people who had known him for as long as he could remember didn’t.  A man who had roused his interest in a way only Amelia Pond had before.

 

The man’s face fell.  Then he said, his voice eager and tense with some emotion Rory couldn’t read, ‘I’d really rather you came too.  You’re an observer, Rory.  I want you to observe for me.’

 

Rory shook his head.  ‘How can you know …?’

 

‘I told you.  I _know_ you.  I probably know you better right now than you know yourself.’  The Doctor looked wistful for a moment before steeling himself, dropping his hand and looking right into Rory’s eyes.  Rory felt the same sense of confusion welling up in him.  Why was he so drawn to this man?  Why was the feel of his hand on Rory’s arm still burning?  And (most importantly) why did he feel he could trust this man?  They held each other’s gaze for a long moment before Rory nodded.

 

They arrived back at the tanks.  The Silence were even more active now and Rory noticed tiny cracks beginning to appear where they were pressing their fingers against the glass.  He rushed over to inspect them, concerned at this new development.  He felt a stir in the air as the Doctor came up behind him and had to fight the desire to lean back into him.  Instead he turned his head slightly, to find the Doctor staring at him.  Doing his best to keep a professional façade, he pointed the cracks out: so tiny they could barely be seen, but all of them under the fingers of particularly energetic creatures.

 

‘How often are they like this?’  Rory dragged his eyes away from the Doctor’s as he asked the question, and looked back at the Silence.

 

‘Never, sir.  They’ve only become active since you got here.  Usually they just stand there.’  He squinted at the creatures in confusion.  Why?  Why were they becoming active now? 

 

Beside him, he heard the Doctor sigh.  ‘Not a cycle then, a one-off.  I had hoped … Ah well, never mind.

 

‘Sir?’  Rory didn’t understand, but clearly the Doctor had just received bad news.  There was something so defeated in the voice that Rory felt moved to comfort him.  He reached his hand towards the other man, but was halted by his next words.

 

‘My time here is running out, then – and isn’t that ironic for one who calls himself lord of time?’  The Doctor’s brief chuckle held no hint of amusement and the hairs on the back of Rory’s neck stood up.  Once again the fingers flew to the bowtie, the act of smoothing the tie seeming to sooth the man’s pain.

 

The Doctor reached out, closing the gap between them as he placed his hand over Rory’s, saying, ‘and please stop calling me ‘sir’ – I’m the Doctor.  Just, the Doctor.’

 

Rory looked up and they stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment.  Neither one moved their hands away and Rory even found himself sliding his around so their palms were touching.  The resulting energy between them sent a jolt of fire right into Rory’s heart and he shuddered.  For a moment, it looked like the Doctor was going to kiss him and Rory wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t respond.  Instead, the Doctor grinned, his eyes flitted from spot to spot on Rory’s face.  Rory smiled back and suddenly the energy between them changed.  It hummed and he considered being the one to kiss the Doctor.  However, enough of the old Rory remained to keep him rooted to the spot and unable to make the move.  He gulped and dragged his eyes away instead.

 

‘Are you seeing anyone, Rory?’  The voice was soft, interested and despite the awkwardness, the question didn’t feel intrusive. 

 

‘No, sir.  I mean, no, Doctor.’  He felt slightly bewildered as their hands slid apart and the Doctor rounded on the Silence again.  The cracks were slightly larger now and the creatures were all pressed close up against the glass.  ‘There’s no-one interested.  I mean … no-one I care about anyway.’

 

‘I’m sure there is someone.  I know you’re interested in Amy.’

 

‘Who, sir? Doctor, I mean.’

 

‘Amy.  Amelia Pond.’

 

‘Oh, no, sir.  That wouldn’t be right.’  In his panic at being found out in this way, Rory was instantly formal again.  How could this Doctor possibly know that he harboured feelings for his boss?  He had always been very careful to maintain a strict professional attitude with her.  On the other hand, this man, this Doctor, was disrupting just about everything Rory held as important – from the Silence creatures to his feelings. 

 

‘Yeah, it would.  More right than you can possibly know.’

 

Rory stepped back.  He was confused and concerned at the direction this conversation was taking.  He had thought the other man was interested in Rory – and he was quite certain he hadn’t imagined the moment they had just shared.  And yet, the Doctor was now suggesting that Rory should explore his feelings for Miss Pond.  He heard the other man’s ragged sigh and looked up again.  What he saw made his throat ache.

 

‘Doctor …’

 

‘It can’t happen, Rory.  I have … things I have to do.  I can’t …’ He scrubbed his hands over his face, the frustration he was feeling evident in the stuttered movements.  He took another breath and looked up at Rory, his plea clear on his face. 

 

‘Rory, I have to save this world …’

 

‘Rory?  Who’s Rory?’  Amelia Pond’s voice sounded as confused as Rory felt.  He turned quickly to look at her as she entered the room.  She looked angry.  He backed away quickly from the Doctor and away from the fiery glares she was throwing.

 

‘ _He’s_ Rory,’ said the Doctor, nodding towards Rory.  ‘I know him, too.’

 

‘Well, why didn’t you say something?  You _knew_ I was looking …’ her voice was getting strident and she was standing toe to toe with the Doctor, her red hair quivering with the anger she clearly felt.

 

‘Wait.  Looking?  Looking for what?  Why is my name important?’  Rory felt his own frustration grow, looking from one to the other; they clearly understood this bizarre conversation.  Why did everyone seem to know his secrets before he did? 

 

The Doctor sighed, then reached out to put his hand on Rory’s shoulder.  It was steady and reassuring.  Despite his irritation, the warmth of that touch made Rory’s heart beat a little faster. 

 

‘Rory.  I told you I know you.  I know Amy here, too.  In that other reality the two of you are married and we travel together.’  He squeezed his shoulder as if realising this would be hard for Rory to understand.  ‘She’s been looking for you; she remembers something about the other world, and she knows she has a husband.  She didn’t know who – all she had was a name.’  Rory swallowed, trying very hard to keep his gaze away from Amelia.  Yes, he had been interested in his boss, but he had thought things would be different if he ever told her how he felt.  He had figured on a little wine, some conversation.  Not this confusing jumble of information coming so soon after his realisation of his attraction to the man with them.

 

‘He’s Rory?’  Amelia crossed to Rory and inspected his face in minute detail.  The close scrutiny made Rory deeply uncomfortable so he fell back to the only behaviour he knew: he stood to attention, in a perfect military pose which included staring straight ahead, carefully not looking at this woman who was standing so close to him.  This woman he had imagined standing close to, but not in this way.

 

She finally spun around to look at the Doctor again and Rory slumped a little in relief.  ‘If he’s Rory, why wouldn’t I have noticed?’

 

‘Because you only remember flashes.  Go look at that picture again, you’ll see what I mean.’

 

‘What picture?  What are you talking about?’  Rory was startled to see Amelia looking uncomfortable.   Was she … blushing?  She had always seemed so confident and in control of herself, but right now she looked out of her depth.  He caught her eye and she blushed harder.

 

‘It doesn’t matter.’  She pulled her gaze from his and looked back at the Doctor.  ‘Doctor, I think it’s time.  We have to go and see River.’  She shivered a little as she looked back at Rory.  He caught something in her expression which confused him.  It looked almost like compassion.

 

Then she smirked at them and added, ‘Oh my boys.  My poncho boys,’ and something exploded in his memory.

 

***

 

Amelia’s heart constricted in her as she heard the Doctor call Captain Williams ‘Rory.’  She had looked for him for so long and he was right here under her nose?  She wasn’t stupid, either.  You could almost see the tension crackling between the two men.  How could someone who was supposed to be her husband be looking at another man like … _that_?  In the flashes of her memories, Rory had been entirely focused on her.  This man was not.  For some reason Amelia couldn’t identify, that really hurt. 

 

‘Rory?  Who’s Rory?’  She demanded, determined to ensure that she had the situation worked out correctly.

 

He turned to look at her and she gasped.  How could she have never noticed this man?  In her flashes of memory of the other life, her husband had been solidly dependable just like Captain Williams.  Her husband had kind eyes just like Captain Williams.  Her husband had been devoted and loyal just like Captain Williams.  Her husband had made her heart skip a beat – just like, she realised now, Captain Williams did.  How had she not noticed before?

 

She crossed to him and studied his face.  He looked uncomfortable under her scrutiny, unsure of himself and not at all like the confident man she had portrayed in the pencil drawing.  But even so, she could see the Doctor’s point.  There was the same facial structure and, in fact, in the very stiff military pose she could trace more of the lines she had drawn than she could when Captain Williams was moving naturally. 

 

Sighing, she suggested they should go to see River.  If The Doctor was right about the disintegration of time, then they needed to move things along.  No matter how much she wanted to save the Doctor, Amelia didn’t want to see the world collapse under the weight of time.  There was also the hope that River had something up her sleeve.  Something she would use to save them all.  She looked over at Captain Williams, regretting the time she’d missed by not seeing what was under her nose.  She knew this must be hard for him; there would be so much he just wouldn’t understand.  She, at least, knew that there were two worlds – or two versions of time, anyway.   And in one of those versions of time, River had destroyed the world.  River, their daughter.  A daughter Captain Williams didn’t even dream existed.

 

He caught her eye and his expression changed subtly.  He could tell, she realised with a start, that she was holding something back.  Perhaps deep inside him he was still connected to her in some way.  Amelia could vaguely remember being able to look at her husband and just _know_ what he was thinking.  It looked like Captain Williams was also feeling that connection.  She smiled and looked from him to the Doctor.  When she saw them side by side, the stance so achingly familiar even as it seemed so foreign, something dragged itself from her subconscious and she sighed, ‘Oh my boys.  My poncho boys.’

 

Where had that come from?  She could see instant recognition as Captain Williams’ eyes flew open in shock.  It meant something to him too – but what?  It was clear even he didn’t know.  The Doctor looked insufferably smug, but from memory that was not unusual.  The Doctor had always liked to seem superior, even when he was flying by the seat of his pants.  Amelia smiled.

 

She was still mulling what her words could have meant (she knew she’d said them before, but she couldn’t quite grab hold of when, where or why), when she heard a sharp crack and spun towards the sound.  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw both men turning too before she was overwhelmed with a huge gush of water that pushed her back against the far wall of the confined space they were in.  The tanks had split entirely and the Silence creatures were swarming out. 

 

Captain Williams sprang into action.  He grasped Amelia’s hand, then the Doctor’s and almost threw them both towards the stairs.

 

‘Run.  You need to run.  Get to the control room – we can’t fight them here.’

 

He suited action to words and since neither reacted fast enough, he ended up pulling them along with him as he ran.  While Amelia’s heart was pounding with an adrenalin rush, she felt a weird sense of rightness.  It was as if she was supposed to be with these two men, holding hands, the three of them together.  She looked sideways and the determination on Captain Williams’ face, coupled with the exhilaration on the Doctor’s settled her nerves.  She redoubled her efforts to run, pulling her hand from Captain Williams’ in order to run faster.

 

Together, they scuttled down towards the control room.  The corridors seemed to be endless and stifling as they got deeper into the base.  Finally, they skidded around a corner and were faced with the open doors of the control room.  Captain Williams held the doors for the others to get through, then slammed them shut once they’d all tumbled into the room.  He fell back against the doors, gasping for breath.

 

‘They won’t be held for long.  We need to get out of here.’

 

‘No we don’t,’ The Doctor strode forward towards the woman standing in the middle of the room, observing them all with a smirk on her face.  Towards Amy’s daughter.  ‘We need River to rewrite time.  Then none of this will ever have happened.’  He grinned and Amy felt a chill run down her back.  This smile wasn’t a nice one – the Doctor seemed almost menacing as he circled River. 

 

‘Oh, sweetie, why on earth would I do that?  Isn’t this so much more fun?’  River kept her eyes on the Doctor as he prowled.  Amy could see the desperation in her daughter as she looked at him.  She glanced over at Captain Williams to see how he was taking this.  He looked bewildered.  She sidled over to him.

 

‘Not really.  See, River, you’re ruining a hell of a lot of lives here.  Your parents’ lives, for instance.’  The subdued menace in the Doctor’s tone was chilling.

 

Amelia saw River blanch but she kept up the bravado.  ‘Is it wrong not to kill the one you love?  I’m sure I heard you say …’

 

‘Yes, River, it is wrong.  It’s a fixed point.  It _has_ to happen.  Stop this nonsense right now.’  His voice was soft, dangerous – eyes fixed on River.

 

They kept talking, the Doctor circling River.  Amelia wondered why he didn’t do whatever it was he’d come here for.  He knew what to do, that much had been obvious from the moment he stepped on the train.  She saw him glance in their direction and smiled encouragingly.  In response, the Doctor’s face took on a haggard look as he turned back towards River.  He kept circling, keeping his distance.

 

‘What did he mean parents?’  Captain Williams whispered to Amelia as the other two continued to talk.

 

‘We got married and had a kid and that’s her.’

 

‘Oh,’ he said, watching them more carefully.  Amy looked at him closely.  He didn’t appear to be too upset, or even phased, by this newest turn of events.

 

‘You don’t seem surprised.’

 

‘Well, our captive aliens turned out to be not so captive after all and apparently I’m married to my boss in another universe.  Why would _this_ be any weirder?’

 

Amy laughed.  ‘We should get a drink sometime.  And married.’  She laughed again at the bemused expression on his face.  He looked over at the Doctor – who was staring at them both, a hungry and desperate look on his face – and she could see the thoughts chasing each other across Captain Williams’ face, the suppressed longing in his gaze. 

 

‘You want him too, don’t you?’

 

He shook his head.  ‘No.  Not like that …’

 

‘Liar.’  She patted his arm, feeling a weird jolt as he looked away from the Doctor and into her eyes.  She made herself look back towards the Doctor.  ‘I get it, I do.  I felt it too ... still do, if I’m honest.’

 

A crash reverberated through the door they were leaning against.  Amelia gasped as she was thrown forward.  Captain Williams grabbed her arm to steady her and she leaned on him for an instant before he pushed her towards the Doctor.

 

‘We need to get out of here before the creatures can attack.’

 

‘Oh it’s already too late for that, dears,’ purred Madame Kovarian from her seat. Amelia had forgotten she was even there, but she rounded on her quickly. 

 

‘What do you mean?  They aren’t in yet; they can’t attack.’

 

‘Oh, can’t they?’  Kovarian’s poisonous smile was triumphant.  ‘You’re wearing eye-drives based on mine, I think.  You should have known the Silence would never give up an advantage.’ 

 

She laughed then, the laugh creepy and predatory. 

 

Amelia screamed as a pain shot through her eye.  Other peoples’ screams echoed around her as Kovarian kept talking. 

 

‘No-one knows all the effects when they activate, but it’s at least painful … possibly fatal.  I guess we’ll find out.’

 

The laughter of the woman before her echoed as Amy fell to the ground, clawing at the drive to get it off.  The pain was becoming unbearable as she saw tiny lights flickering around her eye.

 

***

 

The Doctor could see River getting comfortable.  He could tell she was confused about why he was delaying what he had to do and he could also tell she had decided he wouldn’t do it.  He looked back towards Rory and Amy and grimaced.  Amy was deep in conversation with Rory, but the other man’s eyes were on him. They burned as they watched him.  As if she could tell what Rory was thinking, Amy looked up too.  This time _her_ eyes seared into his.  The Doctor’s heart sank further.  He did not need both of them to gang up on him in that way.  He knew he had to touch River.  He had to force time to move again.  

 

The problem was, he didn’t want to.  Not with the way these companions were pulling at him in new and fascinating ways.  The curse of the Time Lords had always been that new things intrigued and pulled at them.  When you’ve seen so much of time and space there was very little that was new.  Mix that with the Doctor’s knowledge that he had to allow himself to die, that once he set this world to rights he would no longer exist – and the differences in Amy and Rory became close to impossible to resist.  It would be so _easy_ just to let things go and see how they would play out. 

 

The Doctor was fairly sure that, given a little time and effort, there was something interesting that could develop with the three of them.  Amy had never hidden her admiration of him, and Rory …

 

The Doctor sighed.  He looked once more into Rory’s eyes, before turning back to River.  Impossible, infuriating River.

 

That’s when the crash happened.  The Doctor spun around to see Captain Williams propelling Amy away from the door and towards him.  He reached his hands out to steady her, but she had righted herself before he got to her. 

 

He moved past her to examine the doors, which were bulging inwards with each crash.  They started to splinter and the Doctor spared one stressed look at Rory, before becoming aware of an anguished cry building from Amy behind him.  He was barely aware of his feet propelling him towards her when River got there first.  She firmly dragged Amy’s hands away from the eye drive she was scrabbling with and calmly began to deactivate it.  Amy’s cries became whimpers as the thing finally dropped off her eye, leaving a vivid red weal behind it.  The Doctor winced. 

 

He could stop this, he could fix it.  All he had to do was touch River.  She glanced up at him, a knowing smirk on her face.  She thought it was because he couldn’t let her go, he could see it in the blinding joy that was still etched on her face.  She was wrong, of course.  He had explored the dynamic with her quite thoroughly by now and was … not exactly _happy_ to forego her company anymore, but at least content.  They’d had their time together, and besides he was furious with her for putting him in this situation.  If it hadn’t been for her ridiculous ‘fixed points can be rewritten’ actions, he’d never have been here; never have been tempted to set aside his duty for a boy.  And a girl, obviously, but mostly the boy.  Amy was providing new temptations only in relation to Rory.  She had, after all, always been open to him.  It had always been Rory holding her back, even when he didn’t exist. 

 

As if in response to his thoughts, Rory patted his shoulder.  The touch burned and their eyes held for just slightly longer than they should.  The Doctor could see the regret also deep in Rory’s eyes.  It seemed he’d taken the ‘this can’t happen’ comment to heart. 

 

‘Doctor, Ma’am, River … everyone,’ he gestured at the other people around the room, all in various states of shock, all trying to get their drives off their eyes. ‘We need to get out of here.  That door is about to go.’

 

The Doctor patted his hand once, then nodded as he began shepherding the others out of the room.  It was a few seconds before he realised Rory wasn’t following him.  He turned around.

 

Back ramrod straight, Rory was facing the door.  His gun was out and pointed steadily towards the coming intruders.  The Doctor could just make out the drive still firmly planted over his eye.

 

‘Rory.  You need to take that off …’

 

‘No, sir.  I need to keep it on.  I need to be aware of them all – I’m no use if I let one past.  And I can’t allow myself to be swayed by their hypnosis.’

 

‘But your drive.  It could activate at any minute; you could …’

 

‘It has activated.  Sir.’  The Doctor glanced down and only then did he notice the clenched fist, straining hard to help Rory hold on long enough to do his job.  ‘You need to get out of here, get away.  Now!’ 

 

The final word was an anguished shout and the Doctor spun on his heels and left the room.  One shouldn’t waste a sacrifice after all, and it was clear that Rory was about to sacrifice himself to get as many people to safety as he could.  The least the Doctor could do was facilitate that.  The faster he ended this charade, the faster he could get them all home, to their proper lives. What happened here couldn’t matter, even when it meant Rory sacrificing himself to save them all.

 

He passed Amy, white faced, in the corridor.

 

‘Where’s Captain Williams?  Where’s … Rory?’ she asked frantically.

 

‘He’s saving us.  You need to let him …’

 

‘No.  I just found him; I will not give him up.’  She grabbed a nearby machine gun and ran back towards the control room.   The Doctor sighed as he watched her go.  There was no changing some people, obviously.  It was futile, he knew, but who was _he_ to quash futile grand gestures?

 

It was definitely time now.  He had to find River and he had to do what he came here to do.  Now that Rory was not in close proximity and probably dying, the Doctor steeled himself.  _He_ could stop this, _he_ could save these people he loved. 

 

He moved off, stalking through a near-empty series of hallways.  The seconds he had spent with Amy had been enough to allow the others to escape.  The Doctor headed upwards as well as he could, shunting anyone he did find towards the outside door.  He himself headed upwards, always upwards: he knew that was where River would be.  Around him were collapsed walls and empty tanks.  With no eye drive on the Doctor could barely remember what had happened.  He knew something had gone catastrophically wrong, but he had no idea what.  Behind him, he could vaguely hear rapid gunfire then an ominous silence.

 

Silence. 

 

He glanced at his arm, panicked.  It was clear.  Thankfully, he had not encountered the creatures again.  They must all be downstairs confronting Rory.  The Doctor felt his hearts constrict.  _Be well my friend_ , he thought.  He forced himself onwards.  The sooner he found River, the sooner he could wipe out this life, wipe out this new Rory death.

 

He emerged, blinking in the late afternoon sunlight, onto the roof of the pyramid.  River was waiting for him.

 

‘My love, you are not yourself today.  Why, it’s practically no fun at all refusing to heal time when you don’t even seem to be interested.’

 

‘River.’  The Doctor sighed.  ‘I’m in no mood for games.  How much do you remember?  How much do you know you’re destroying with this grand gesture?’

 

She shrugged.  ‘Enough.’

 

‘Enough?  River, your parents are downstairs, probably dead already.  You cannot seriously be saying you’re okay with that?’  He could feel the anger building in him, anger at her blasé attitude. 

 

She shrugged again.  ‘What would you have me do?  Lose you instead?’  There was a pain in her eyes and the Doctor did feel sympathy for her, but not enough to let her destroy time itself.

 

‘Yes.  River, we need to fix this.  It’s time.’

 

He moved towards her and this time there must have been something in his eyes that convinced her because she let him approach.

 

There was a scuffling at the door and the Doctor glanced over in time to see Amy and Rory stumbling out on to the roof.  He grimaced.  Of course they would be here to witness.  River looked over to them and her lips tightened into a harsh line.  They stared at her in shock.

 

The Doctor closed the gap between him and River, looked over at Amy and Rory and mouthed, ‘I’m sorry.’ 

 

He held his hand out to River and she took it.  He could see in her eyes that she was unhappy, but she had obviously accepted the inevitability.  For an instant time stood still and the Doctor remembered everything he loved about this reality: his friendship with Winston, the novelty of everything happening simultaneously, Captain Williams and Amelia Pond …

 

Then he was catapulted through light as time sped up.

 

He stood up and dusted himself off.  So here they were again at Lake Silencio.  To his left he could see the concerned faces of Amy, Rory, River and Canton.  In front of him stood a devastated River in the spacesuit.  He shut his eyes sadly and felt the blast as the lasers locked on and ripped through his chest.

 

Then everything went blank.

 

***

 

The Doctor blinked, his eyes slitted open.  His mouth was dry, his tongue clinging to its roof in an unpleasant manner.  He drifted between sleeping and waking, until something slammed into his memory.  He sat up, startled out of his stupor.  Why was he even here?  He should be dead.  Why wasn’t he dead?  The Doctor fell back with a groan.  River had obviously destroyed time.  Again. 

 

‘Doctor?  Are you okay?  Doctor?’  Amy’s voice was soft, comforting – a tone so rare for her that the Doctor wondered briefly if he’d been sent to some sort of heaven.  Her hands quested over his face and the feeling was so odd that The Doctor sat up again, grabbing them to prevent her from continuing.

 

‘Where am I?’

 

‘Rory!  He’s awake.  Rory!’  Amy called as she sat down on The Doctor’s bed.  ‘Don’t worry, Doctor.  I think we can explain everything.  Just rest now, though.’

 

‘I can’t rest.  Time’s gone wibbly wobbly and I have to fix it.  I need to find River …’

 

Amy laughed.  ‘Doctor, you did that.  It’s over.’

 

‘I did it?  But …’

 

‘Don’t you remember?  We were sure you’d set it all up – it was so _you_ , the outcome.’

 

‘What outcome?’

 

‘The ganger.  Your ganger … being killed at Lake Silencio.’

 

‘He doesn’t remember,’ Rory said, looking down at him.  There was a sadness in his eyes as he said it.  The Doctor started.  He hadn’t even heard Rory enter the room.

 

‘My ganger?  What?’

 

Amy glanced up at Rory and he laid a hand on her shoulder, comforting her.  ‘Do you remember the other world?  Doctor?’

 

‘Other world?  No …’ but that was a half-lie.  A sudden flash of memory lit up in The Doctor’s brain, a moment shared between two men.  But it was gone before he could even grasp it.  There was no telling even who the other man was or what the moment was.

 

‘As best we can tell, when time was reset we were all sent back to Lake Silencio to watch you die.  Again.  And we saw you fall, but you … melted.  So then we knew.  We hid the remains, made sure it became ‘fact’ that you died there and then we came to the TARDIS and found you.’

 

‘You were pretty sick.  You seemed to be in some sort of coma.  We couldn’t wake you.’  Amy’s voice became choked as she said it.  ‘We thought … we thought …’

 

The Doctor reached over and squeezed her hand.  ‘Hey.  It’s okay, Pond.  I’m here.’  She smiled at him.

 

‘But if you didn’t set this up, who did?’

 

‘Oh, knowing me it was probably me, but I couldn’t trust myself.’  The Doctor grinned at them. ‘You know how I get!  Never shut up, me.  Couldn’t keep a secret like that.’

 

Rory opened his mouth to protest, but Amy forestalled him with a warning hand on his arm.

 

‘So, time’s okay then, Doctor?  All that stuff that happened … it didn’t happen, then?’

 

‘Seems like it.’  The Doctor hauled himself out of bed and reached for his clothes.  For some reason he was suddenly shy.  He looked over at Rory who was looking slightly uncomfortable and another memory flash hit him.  The memory of two hands sliding over one another, of the promise of a future that could never be.  Rory looked at him and the Doctor could tell he remembered it too.

 

As if feeling the tension between her two men, Amy held her hands out to them.  She drew them both close together.

 

‘So here we are – me and my boys together again.  This feels right, don’t you think?’  She looked from one to the other, her eyes flirtatious as she looked at both of them.  For once, Rory didn’t seem upset.  In fact he laughed and kissed her hand as his eyes met the Doctor’s.  Amy’s delighted glance swept between both of them, before alighting on the Doctor.

 

The Doctor looked at Rory again and saw his easy grin as he responded to Amy.  Then they locked eyes again and Rory nodded.  This _was_ right.  In some way the Doctor couldn’t quite fathom, their dynamic had changed.  Instead of drawing an invisible line around his relationship with Amy, Rory seemed to be more open.  His guarded possessiveness was gone and in its place was a welcome.  He had, it seemed, finally overcome his jealousy.  Wondering just what had transpired in the other reality (which everyone seemed to remember except for him), the Doctor’s hearts swelled as he grinned back and adjusted his bowtie.  Rory laughed and patted the Doctor on the cheek as Amy dropped their hands.

 

‘Okay boys, let’s go take this boat someplace nice,’ she said.  Still grinning, the Doctor slapped Rory on the back, took Amy’s hand again and led them towards the console. 

 

It was rather amazing to be alive right now, exploring worlds just the three of them.

 


End file.
